The Doctor's Birthday
by Klamingo
Summary: The Doctor takes Rose and Jack to a hotel and Jack plays matchmaker. REVIEW PLEASE! Disclaimer: (I always forget this) I DUNT OWN NUTIN!


"So, Doc. Where to now?" Asked the dashingly handsome man standing in the console room of the TARDIS.

"Uhhh, I don't know…. Know anywhere? WAIT NO! Last time I asked you that we landed up on that…pleasure planet!" The Doctor exclaimed.

"It wasn't my fault that you only asked me the coordinates and not the name…." Jack muttered under his breath.

"Well, I'm sorry! Maybe you would have thought to tell me that the planet was in the orgasmic cluster, WHO NAMED A BUNCH OF PLANETS AN 'ORGASMIC CLUSTER' THAT IS WRONG ON SO MANY LEVELS! WHO WOULD DO THAT?!"

"SO WHAT IF I WENT BACK IN TIME AND RENAMED IT?!"

"YOU DID THAT?!"

Rose knew that when they got in a fight like this she was the only one who could break it up. She stared at her two best friends squabbling. The Doctor, from the last of the Time Lord from the long gone planet Gallifrey. And a man, Jack, who couldn't die (at least he was from earth). She traveled with these two in the TARDIS (Time-And-Relative-Dimensions-In-Space).

Walking forward she stood in-between the two men.

"Oi! Will you two stop it!" She yelled. The Doctor recoiled a bit from her harshness, but Jack stood his ground against the angry Rose.

"He started it!" Jack said pointing at The Doctor, who was hiding behind Rose.

"Did not!" Said The Doctor popping up from behind Rose's shoulder.

"Oh yeah!" Said Jack smirking at The Doctor. "Well, remember when the help at the pleasure planet linked our telepathic fields and I got to see what, or WHO, you were thinking about while they performed there 'pleasure procedures' on us! Wouldn't want certain passengers to know that information, would y-" Was all Jack could get out before The Doctor ducked under Rose's arm and tackled Jack, sending them both flying into the hallway.

Rose ran into the hall after them before The Doctor could find out if Jack was still immortal. She found them, The Doctor siting on the human's chest, his hands clamped over Jack's mouth. Seeing Rose, The Doctor stood up and brushed off his suit, pink flushing his cheeks.

"Err… We should be off…." The Doctor said sheepishly, scrambling out of the hallway away from Rose.

Rose raised her eyebrows at Jack, who was still lying on the ground propped up on his elbow. He winked and stood up.

"Anyways, he started it." Jack said as he passed her.

Rose pushed the thought of The Doctor and the pleasure planet out of her mind as she followed Jack back to the console room. The Doctor was fusing under the console with TARDIS repairs, no doubt avoiding Rose. He pulled his head out from under the console and looked at Jack who was sitting on a lawn chair smirking at The Doctor. The Doctor looked away from him and found Rose. His cheeks flushed again and he slid back under the console, kicking Jack for good measure.

"Doctor." Rose said to get his attention. His head popped back out and looked at the spot above Rose's head, avoiding eye contact.

"Yeah….." He said, pretending to busy himself with a wire.

"It's about Christmas…..back home I mean." Rose said.

"Yeah, I guess it is, I suppose you want to visit Jackie…." His hand wandered to his cheek and he rubbed it in remembrance of the last time they'd seen Jackie Tyler. He stood up and walked around messing with dials and buttons, still not looking at Rose.

"No… I mean Yes! But not now... I mean…. It's your birthday… Isn't it?"

The Doctor looked up at her.

She had thought about this many times, telling him that he needs a vacation from saving the world… His birthday would be an excellent time for some rest and relaxation.

The Doctor stared at her. What had she said?

"It is isn't it?" She asked hesitantly.

Then he beamed at her.

"I guess it is! Well, technically…I regenerated last Christmas! Where do you want to go?" He asked.

"Well I…What?" She wasn't supposed to decide where they were going, it was his birthday! "It's your Birthday! You decide!" Said Rose.

"Well… I don't know…."

"I know!" Said Jack bouncing out of his chair, hand raised above his head.

"NO!" Yelled The Doctor. "I'm NEVER going anywhere you want again!"

"But you liked it" Said Jack smiling knowingly at The Doctor. "On the pleasure planet they look into your thoughts…And so did I you naughty boy you." Jack said shaking his finger at a pale Doctor standing before him.

"Where do you want to go?" The Doctor muttered as if every word caused him great pain.

"So glad you asked!" Said Jack, eyes bright.

Jack had been planning The Doctors birthday for quite a while now, and he wanted to make sure that everything was perfect.

He had been watching The Doctor around Rose even before there trip to the pleasure planet, and it was so obvious that they loved each other it was painful. The Doctor had all these rules, he wasn't allowed to love anybody it was too dangerous, blah, blah, blah… Rose was what The Doctor wanted and he was getting exactly what he wanted for his birthday!

:

"What tha, this looks like a normal beach!" exclaimed The Doctor.

"What were you expecting?" Asked Jack.

"Well, something…. more…. Sexual to be honest…"

"Phhhhtttt, Who are you to say a beach isn't sexual! I've seen your fantasies, you're extremely creative! And, I was just wondering, where did you get the handcuffs? I mean even I wouldn't have thought about using handcuffs and palm trees like that." Jack asked The Doctor while staring at Rose. He wanted to see her reactions to his hints that a certain Time Lord was very, _very _fond of one certain blonde human being from London.

Rose obviously heard, but was sparing The Doctor of embarrassment.

Jack waited for something to happen. When nothing did he gave up.

"Well, we better get going! I think the Hotel is up this way." Jack exclaimed.

"You think?" said Rose skeptically.

"Geez, no faith!" Jack replied, a mock expression of hurt on his face.

"Yes, it is up ahead! I've been here before, quite nice actually." The Doctor said scanning the city skyline.

"Where is 'here'" asked Rose.

"Just a little tourist planet outside the galaxy J-14. Our Hotel is that one." Said Jack, pointing to the tallest building.

Rose heaved her bag onto her shoulder and set off towards the skyscraper. Jack turned to The Doctor smiling.

"You like!?" Asked Jack bouncing.

"Yes Jack, I like. C'mon let's get going there's no way I'm letting Rose out of my sight." He said grabbing his bag. Jack shouldered his own bag and started off after Rose, The Doctor right behind him.

:

"There was only one room left! Can you believe it?" Jack exclaimed to The Doctor and Rose standing in the lobby.

Of course there were about 42 open rooms but, Jack had money and charm, two things that should never be left unsupervised in the presence of Captain Jack Harkness. He showed Rose and The Doctor The room they would all be sharing. The Doctor plopped down on the bed and laid there. Rose crossed her arms and looked at him. He looked up.

"Right, sorry, ladies first. You can sleep here." He told her jumping up from the bed.

"No sorry, it's your birthday."

"No really, you can have the bed."

"It's fine!"

"No, you can sleep there. It's okay!"

Jack looked at the two and sighed. This was pitiful.

"C'mon people! It's a big bed! There's room enough for five, you two could fit in fine!" Jack settled.

"Two?! Where are you going to sleep?" Rose asked glaring at him.

"Are you kidding? Did you see that desk manager? C-U-T-E! I have other sleeping arrangements tonight." Said Jack blushing, leaning against the sink. "I think it was the coat, they always fall for the coat, it's very sliming."

"Just don't ask…." The Doctor warned as Rose opened her mouth. She closed it and giggled.

:

What was Jack up to? This wasn't ordinary Jack… He wasn't flirting with Rose…. Or The Doctor himself…..

He laid on his bed.. err.. His and Rose's bed. He shuddered; he had to lie next to Rose all night. That would be hard (*bud um pum shhh* Pun intended). I mean normally being in the room across from her was hot enough but in the same bed…..

He heard the bathroom lock click and the door open; Rose stepped out in her bikini. A strapless small pink one. The Doctor cursed Jack silently in his head, why did he have to choose a place that had a swimming pool? He gaped at her and then realized that she was talking. His hard on was making it difficult to pay attention.

"Doctor?"

"Hmmm?" He realized that he was staring at her chest and felt like slapping himself. Looking up to her face he concentrated on her hair.

"I'm going to go swimming now, wanna come?" She asked. He stared blankly. What did she ask? Did he want to come? No that couldn't be it.

"What?" He murmured.

"You wanna come swimming with me?" She asked looking concerned.

"Nah, I'll com…err… go later" He said. She looked a little disappointed but she walked out the door anyway.

The Doctor shook his head. Wet Rose in a bikini. He couldn't handle that…

He decided that he was going to go take a shower…. A cold shower….

:

Rose stared at her feet as she walked. Why wouldn't he want to come with her? She had found this bikini in her closet a week ago and was dying to wear it in front of The Doctor. She was genuinely looking forward to seeing him with his shirt off.

She sighed. Maybe he just wasn't interested… That stupid alien…. Alien… Great… She was in love with an alien. Maybe he could have sex. Maybe he didn't have a….. Maybe he didn't even like woman. Maybe men?

Nah, he would have told her. Wouldn't he? Well who else was there.

She stopped walking.

Oh…..god…. Jack? Could that be why he brings Jack along? A fellow immortal fuck buddy?

Just then she turned the corner and there was the man.

Jack.

She swallowed hard.

"Jack… Uhhhh… W-what are you doing?" she stammered. She couldn't meet his eyes. What if there really was something going on between him and The Doctor.

"I was just heading back to the room. The Doctor still up there?" He asked.

"Yeah…" She said. Oh My God. She was sure just then she was not going to sleep in that bed even if The Doctor was waiting with whipped cream.

Ok, maybe if he had whipped cream…

"Ok, Thanks!" Jack passed her and walked up the stairs. She continued walking thinking about Jack…. And The Doctor….She looked behind her and saw that Jack was already gone. She made up her mind. She had to know.

She turned around and set off towards their room.

:

Jack slipped in the room quietly. Why wasn't The Doctor down in the hot tub with Rose who was wearing…. Well almost nothing! What was wrong with this man?

What was that? Was that the shower? No way!

He was going to have some fun.

:

"So instead of swimming with a practically naked, wet, Rose, you jerk off in the shower?" Jack asked sitting cross legged on the toilet lid, chin resting on hand.

Getting in the bathroom was easy, just a lock. But being quite enough to not alert The Doctor of his presence was harder. He was dying to rip open the shower curtain and have good laugh, but he felt that might get him thrown out of the TARDIS.

"GODDAMIT! JACK IS THAT YOU?!" The Doctor yelled.

"Yes. And I didn't peek! I was just wondering why you're being such a moron." He answered matter-a-factly.

"Hand me a towel! WHEN I GET OUT OF HERE" he Doctor said turning off the water and sticking his hand through a gap in the shower curtain.

"Yeah, yeah, yeah, you kill me. Now here's you towel…. Just one peek?" Jack asked hopefully handing him the fluffy white towel.

"JACK!"

"Fine! Now why are you up here? I ran into a very sad, bikini clad, Rose downstairs. We can't have that!...I mean the sad part…I'm fine with the bikini…..." Jack said.

The Doctor was silent.

"I'm waiting!" What's wrong?" Jack shouted impatiently. All was quiet for thirty seconds.

"I'm scared Jack…" The Doctor said not moving. Jack was dumbfounded. This was no time for jokes; The Doctor was opening up to him.

"What of?" Jack asked hesitantly.

"Here let me get dressed, no peeking…" The Doctor said. Jack rolled his eyes.

"It's ok! You have a towel on you big baby."

"Still, knowing you" The Doctor stammered.

"Yeah, I know. Better safe than sorry." Jack said. "Still! I'm staying, eyes open and all. "

"Fine." The Doctor said climbing out of the shower, towel wrapped around his waist, exposing his bare chest. Jack took in The Doctors appearance, who knows, this might be the only time he would be able to see this much. He wondered if this was the first time The Doctor had ever been (mostly) naked in front of another man. Of course it wasn't, he was 900.

Jack bit back a few sexy remarks. The Doctor was telling him something he had never told anyone before. They stood, looking at each other. Jack waited for The Doctor to say something.

The Doctor turned to the mirror and looked at himself for a second before picking up the shaving cream and spraying some into his hands.

"Have you ever considered letting a beard grow?" Jack asked watching The Doctor lather his face and neck. He glanced at Jack and then picked up his razor.

"Nah… I never thought about it with this regeneration…" The Doctor muttered.

"Shame… might look good…" Jack commented.

The Doctor spun towards Jack.

"What do you want, Jack?" He asked. His mouth was a thin line, but his eyes were a mixture of anger and sadness.

"Why aren't you down there with Rose?" Jack asked staring straight into The Doctor's brown eyes.

"No" Said The Doctor stepping closer to Jack not letting his gaze falter. "Why did you suggest here? Why did you bribe the desk manager? Why did you sneak that bikini into her closet? AND why did you put those handcuffs in my jacket?" The Doctor said calmly looking away.

Jack couldn't help noticing that The Doctors towel was slipping dangerously low. And he also noticed that although The Doctor was scrawny he had a strong well-toned upper body. Jack cursed to himself. Why was he helping Rose and The Doctor? Why wasn't he taking The Doctor for himself? No The Doctor wanted Rose, Jack was sure.

He sighed.

He had suggested this place based off of The Doctor's fantasy, and, he had bribed the desk manager. And yes, he had sneaked that skimpy bikini into Rose's closet for this trip. And so what if he put handcuffs in The Doctors coat? Handcuffs were helpful for many things… Like tying up guards or handcuffing Rose Tyler to a bed…

Jack stood up, facing The Doctor. He was searching franticly for a cover story. . The Doctor waited for answers. Jack stepped closer, their faces, inches away eyes locked in an intense glare. He was going to tell The Doctor the truth.

"Fuck." The Doctor muttered as he tripped over Jack's coat, which he now regretted throwing lazily on the floor. Falling into Jack, The Doctor pushed him back against the wall. Jack had to again bite back his sexy remark _'If you really want to'. _The Doctor glared at Jack.

"You had to put your coat on the ground." The Doctor muttered trying unsuccessfully to climb of Jack who was pinned against the wall.

"Doctor I didn't realize you were this anxious I would have walked in on you ages ago."

"Shut up Jack." The Doctor glared at him. They were in a predicament…. The Doctor pressed up against Jack couldn't step away without letting Jack fall and jack could move without tripping.

They were stuck.

Then there heads both snapped to the left as they heard a startled gasp. That's when Jack realized he hadn't locked the door behind him. The two men gaped at the startled Rose in front of them.

"Rose" The Doctor said trying to step away from jack without tripping. While The Doctor preoccupied himself with his task, Jack watched as Rose's eyes welled with tears and she turned away from them out the door.

"ROSE!" The Doctor shouted as he totally forgot about not letting Jack fall at the sight of her tears. He ran out of the bathroom after her, dropping Jack on the floor.

Jack flipped over, massaging his back where it hit the wall. He sat on the floor trying to piece together what had just happened, whether it was good or bad.

:

Goddamit, he was going to kick Jack's ass when he got ahold of him. But first he had to explain what had happened to Rose. What had she thought was going on? When did she walk in? He realized his towel was slipping right as he ran out of his hotel room.

"Rose!" He called as he re-tied his towel, tight around his waist. He cussed when she didn't stop running. Debating whether or not to run after Rose in his towel or to wait until she came back… If she came back. At that he ran down the hallway as fast as he could after the woman he loved. She couldn't think he was…with Jack!

Where was she? Turning to the left he bolted down that corridor, seeing her as he turned the next. He was almost there. She ran into the lobby just as he grabbed her wrist yanking her around. She tried to pull away and punched him in the jaw with her free hand. He let go of her wrist as the skin on his jaw began to bruise. She backed away but didn't run.

"Y-you and Jack!" She screamed at him as he looked up at her out of the corner of his eye. He was doubled over holding his jaw. A small crowed was beginning to gather as he stood up, still rubbing the left side of his face which was beginning to turn purple.

"You lead me on! When you…and Jack were… the whole time." She said quieting a little, but not stopping the tears rolling down her cheeks.

He looked at her silently.

"Well, say something! Do you think I don't care? You think I don't care that you're seeing someone? Jack?!" She began to scream at him again. He stepped towards her frowning. How could she think that? He knew what he wanted to say but his mouth was reluctant to form words.

Rose stared at him still crying. The people around them began to whisper about 'how men could never help themselves', and 'how could he cheat on a girl like that?'

"Well? Anything?" She stared at him angrily. He stepped closer to her willing her not to run again. She didn't, she stood there and waited.

"Rose." He whispered. The Doctor realized how silly he must look to everyone else, dripping wet, covered in shaving cream, in a towel, with a blonde girl in a bikini screaming at him. But he didn't care what they thought; he was heartbroken for the girl standing in front of him.

"…I love you…" She whispered so quietly that more attentive onlookers had to nudge there loud companions and repeat what she said in their ears. The Doctor however was taking in every word. He felt like falling over. Rose loved him. That was all that was important. Not that he was standing in a hotel lobby on a small planet in J-14 in a towel. Or that Jack was upstairs most likely waiting to be pummeled. No…All that was important was that Rose loved him.

She turned to get away from him. But he grabbed her arm again. Spinning around with a look of furry on her face, The Doctor knew she was about to scream at him again. Doing the only thing he could think of that would quite her. The Doctor leaned down and kissed Rose Tyler.

:

Rose felt like killing something.

She hated the man kissing her so passionately… Didn't she? She had just seen him naked, pressed against Captain Jack Harkness in the bathroom of a hotel. Hadn't she? So why did kissing him back feel like it would solve everything. Because she knew that kissing him back wouldn't solve a thing. Only make it worse. Wouldn't it?

Giving up the battle between hatred and love she flung her arms around his neck and kissed him too.

After about five seconds the crowd began to clap.

The Doctor pulled out of the kiss giggling. She felt like slapping him.

The crowd dispersed and went back to their normal everyday tasks. She stared at The Doctor, who was beaming. He rested his forehead against hers.

"So, it's still my birthday right?" He whispered. She closed her eyes and nodded, not able to speak.

He leaned in and whispered even quieter in her ear.

"Let's run upstairs and I'll get rid of that bikini properly."

:

"If you two are naked I'm so looking!"

Suddenly alert, The Doctor quickly lifted the covers over Rose as Jack walked in the room.

"Jack, I'm suddenly quite happy that you're immortal, I have the pleasure of killing you over and over again." The Doctor said thoughtfully, as he felt rose sift under his protective arm.

"No really, not looking, totally not looking!" Jack said…obviously looking. "I just wanted to grab my coat. I mean coming in her and throwing me out like that! MEAN!"

The Doctor's smile widened as he remembered grabbing Jack and literally throwing him out the door. I guess he had more strength then he had thought, especially when Rose was in the other room lying on his bed.

Jack skipped through the door with his coat.

"Oi! Jack!" The Doctor yelled at him.

The man's head poked around the corner.

"Thanks for the handcuffs." The Doctor said winking.

Jacks face split into a grin as he returned the wink before leaving.


End file.
